for those going through or about to go through divorce (or even if you think you never will, you might want to keep this in mind).
This is going to sound awful and unchristlike, but once your wife declares she is going to divorce you, it's in almost all likelihood too late. So - here's the advice, something I've learned from hard experience:
Once she is divorcing you - don't apologize for anything. All it can do is hurt you. Two things happen: 1.) Your apologies just remind her of the terrible things you did to cause her to want a divorce in the first place. 2). It will be used against you court. I was surprised to find e-mails with my sincere apologies used as evidence that I was evil. "He even admits he has these problems" as the lawyer said.
Apologies need to come before she declares divorce. Unfortunately, since studies show somewhere north of three-fourths of left behind husbands have no clue their wife is unhappy, that's hard.
So, guys - just be careful. And make sure you really are sure where your marriage stands. Make the apologies when they can save your marriage.