Monday, September 20, 2010

Abuse, so called

These two articles are not too recent, but somehow I missed them the first time around. They directly relate to my situation, and the situations of many men I know.

I used to believe all tales of "abuse" by walk away wives. Now that I've been accused 0f "psychological abuse" by my ex, I don't so much anymore. I don't bring this up much, because people refuse to believe that any accusation of abuse could be false.

Well, it's not so much "false" as "the definition stinks." According to the Federal government, abuse consists of such things as "getting annoyed if the victim disagrees" and"disregarding what the victim wants.” Based on those definitions, my spouse abused me - but the way our courts are run, it's always assumed that men are the de facto abusers - and my ex realized accusing me of abuse meant she could likely get more out of me - and since we didn't always agree on everything, hey - my behavior was abusive.

The real problem is that divorce so distorts the memories of those involved, every disagreement becomes an argument, and every argument becomes a fight, and every fight becomes an abusive incident. Pretty soon, there are nothing but abusive incidents in the mind of the spouse that has to mentally justify her decision to divorce.

Commentary on the Federal government guidelines here and here.

There are too many divorced men out there being treated as abusive deadbeats merely because they didn't agree with their wives on every issue. Too many divorces seem to be more about the wife finally "winning" every argument then they are about following the Lord's will.

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