The sad lack of charity

I've noticed, in my internet readings, that a lot of ex-wives want their exes to suffer. "If he doesn't suffer, it will mean this whole divorce meant nothing" seems to be a common thread. In nearly all these cases, it seems the women were the ones who did the leaving.

That seems to me a very unChrist-like attitude. I know I do not want my ex to suffer, but she does want me to suffer. In fact, she's complained that I'm not suffering enough. This inidcates to me that the divorces aren't really about doing what's best for the kids, and are instead merely petty attempts at revenge for perceived slights.

While I am far from blameless, perhaps if my ex had actually tried talking to me, rather than calling up her parents to complain about my behavior, we might have saved the marriage. Instead, we have me barely staying ahead of bankruptcy, and her essentially praying that I suffer because of choices she made.

It's a lack of charity and an ability to forgive. I am working on forgiving my ex. I think I'm starting to see things from her point of view, at least a little bit. However, I have no desire for her to suffer, no matter how ill-advised and stupid I think her decision to divorce me was. What I really don't understand, though, is this desire from ex-wives to see their husbands punished horribly. Judgment is up to God, not us mere mortals who all make mistakes.